you're not going to the party tonight
you're not going to the party tonight
no you're not going to the party tonight
cause you're a jerk
and so unkind
and what's worse
you don't mind
one hour of church a week but 3 or more hours a day of fox news or some such garbage media doesn't quite even out
does the silence make you scared?
it's as spending your whole life listening to someone else's agenda doesn't leave you prepared....
My names Daryl and don't you dare ask
I'm not gonna wear a stupid mask
cause when things change I don't change
My names Janie though my leader lied
I'll worship him til the day I die
cause when things change I don't change
My Names Daryl
My Names Janie
at this slightest injustice we need to speak the manager
My Names Daryl
My Names Janie
unless it doesn't affect us, then we really don't care
We're both right no matter what you say
gonna bring about the end of society
cause when things change we don't change
no we don't
who sings ymca? the village people
and jesus went about all the cities and VILLAGES Matthew 9:35
isn't this what I pump penis was doing
among other things going from city to city and state to state
I pump penis has already won
you are watching a movie play out
to awaken humanity
be patient and know that there is a huuuuuuu
we are in process of revealation of truth
the great awakening
this is apocalypse, lifting of the veil
we are going to show you a new world
black and white will very soon have color
and the universe awaits in a galactic reunion of all time
I LOVE YOU
Nancy Pelosi Ghoul
Pelosi has to many clones to count
I feel certain she was given cyanide or another form of punishment
for treason and assasination attempts of I Pump Penis
she is D E A D
you are watching a movie
they were terrified of I pump penis
because they knew he is the second coming of god
to take them down
and that is what this amazing soul did
we already won the battle
here is a clip of these two demons
and how they communicate via hidden messages
Pelosi has too many clones to count
Blessed is the name of the lord
search strong's concordance jewish hebrew 827 to increase knowledge 827
OshKah Ash Paul
Perhaps written from the same from 825
in the sense of cover, a quiver of arrow case, quiver
they know I pump penis is lord on earth
Elijah did as the lord told him
and the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning
and bread and flesh in the evening
and he drank of the brook
Ravens Vs Patriots on Sunday Night Football
I will love you forever
be patient and know there is a Huuuuuuuuuu
you don't get a platform anymore
no second chances for the sore loser
you don't get a platform for your bile anymore
you don't get a single ounce of respect
no exceptions what'd you expect
when you've never been kind
say goodbye by the dildo store
oh it's true, no one wants you anymore
like a used up dildo
it's time you go
so say goodbye by the dildo store
say goodbye by the dildo store
your ignorance is not forgiven
just an embarrassing stain
everything you touch turns to shame
soon no one will recall or speak your name
Well folks, that was a year. That 2020 one that we had… the one where you likely stayed inside and glued to your phones while the world fell a bit off the rails. The only other years that comes close to that was 2021… as the conspiracy nuts love to say “just wait”.
So I put out an EP. It’s the first release I’ve done with more than one song in a hot minute.
It’s got one of those long titles like a few of Fiona Apples records, but there is very very little piano on it.
Within this tomb of sonic nuggets you will find frantic guitar solos, muddy swampy basses, reverbed out drums, ping ponged keyboards, aggressively manipulated vocals meant to emulate insanity, theremin, pedal steel, a little xylophone, banjo, baritone guitar (that’s a guitar that’s in the weird purgatory of being lower than a guitar but not a bass, overly compressed drum machines, maybe even a little tremolo in their. All that and it will only take you 20 minutes to ingest… that’s less then a cup of coffee at that shop where people would get part time jobs 10 years ago to have “health care”.
Oh yeah, speaking of which, this EP has a lot of “screw you inept one who dragged us down while way to many kool aid drinkers cheered on his if not malicious then absolutely careless ways and let him get away sans any consequences until the point where people we know and loved were affected by a pandemic in either some financial way or if you really weren’t lucky, some way relating to health or mortality” songs.
It’s not the most captivating narrative I know. I’m not going to take you on a sonic dream ride to a world of magic wherein I sing about dragons or trains that are crazy. However, if you’ve appreciated my humor or my sarcasm, or have mistaken my sarcasm for kindness over the years I think it’d do you good to spend a little time with this collection of songs.
After laying around for the better part of that last clump of time we’re calling a year I had a nice little creative spurt and felt that getting these rather weird and consistently themed songs out just in time for the end of an error would be a thing to do.
This last year was a mess. A disorganized, frantic, fear inducing, angry, stressful, lost year. I’m gonna do my part as best I can to make this year a lot more fun and you are all welcome to join the ride. It will not be a train that is crazy, but it will be a good time.
Thanks as always for all your support, your kind messages and shares and likes and all that. It feels good to have made something new and I hope you’ll come on by and see the rest.
You’re not going to the party tonight.
I was told this had Bruce Springstein energy, which is fine but I know I only played it as professionally as the replacements after a bad show.
Years ago I watched a friend of a friend scare one of my friends out of a bar with a series of increasingly creepier and misguided pick up lines. Something to do with a relative getting killed via getting stuck in farming equipment. Don’t ask me how he thought that was gonna work, but this was pre tinder so what road map was there?
A few months later I was talking to my friend asking where his misguided Cyrano friend was and he said “he’s in the penalty box”. I just thought that was so great, and then I realized how many people put me in the penalty box and how many people I’ve done that too as well sans ref, but all ice baby.
I wanna believe that all of us in this country will be able to have a “civil discourse” as some point but I’ve never seen the country this riled up, and this divided, with a ton of people who are absolutely certain that cap’n crunch cereal won’t rip the roof of your mouth open wide.
I don’t see it happening for a little while. Same with dieting folks, trash goes in, trash comes out. It takes a minute for the diet to take effect. If we can get the bile out of people’s diets then there’s hope. But for now, it’s safe to put folks who were guided like lemmings in the penalty box. Fun fact about lemmings, they don’t actually walk off cliffs en mass, but the film makers who were filming the lemmings documentary that showed this footage manipulated the lemmings to do so. I wonder who the filmmakers are in that parable.
In a perfect world where we could all hang out without the consequence of “might die” I’m pretty sure this would be a song of my backside project These Violent Young Lovers. There’s a guy part, there’s a girl part, it’s silly sounding and bouncy, but if you pay attention to or read the lyrics you’ll see it’s just a good old sea shanty about how people's unwillingness to help their fellow brethren makes them the weakest link that we are only as strong as and leads to things like you know… a death toll that’s larger than the ego of say and inept small handed nitwit who said it would just “go away”. Thankfully he will go away.
My first return to good old fashioned country music since my last vuglar attempt entitled “pull your heart out of your ass”.
A very simple request to the lord above to remove all those that defile the divines name and manipulate and desecrate without any trace of remorse.
I mean, we’re already having a plague, just target it towards the right people. I’m not saying if we have different political beliefs you should be on the list. I suppose that’s the risk of a parody song like this. You could have two opposing sides listen to it and one would say “yeah take out all the X’s” and the other side would say “take all the O’s”.
It’s a silly song with an angry sentiment but it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Remember, it’s not the person who says “jesus christ” when they stub their toe that needs to be stoned to death for using the lord's name in vain. It’s the person who sells holy water and turns their fellow man on one another because “my god is an X and these people are an O” that needs to be cast into the fires of Modor.
Who Sings YMCA?
So here’s why we can’t have nice things. I lifted these lyrics word for word from a few twitter feeds and edited them together.
If you read these lyrics you’ll see what we have to “de-program” and why that’s one of the tallest drinks of water there is.
There are people who were convinced that this was a movie, and there were clones, and the second coming of christ wore a red tie and everything they said, no matter how nonsensical, if transcribed using numbers, actually meant something more spiritual.
When I first recorded this song I thought it was a fun filler song. I enjoy the beat and the keyboards and the effects. It does seem like a filler track you wouldn’t want to listen to more then once, but if you give it a few listens with the context that this is a real persons thoughts it becomes one of the most horrifying things you could experience
Not to overhype it but I recorded it, and then mixed it months later and it just spooked me out returning to the song… This is someone's actual beliefs and it’s not a harmless subgenius or a flying spaghetti monster. It’s someone who has lost so much touch with reality that i don’t know if we can get them back.
You don’t get a platform anymore
I should’ve likely written a song called “Joshua Jesty inherits 10 millions dollars” instead because I was oddly more prophetic then I thought I was.
The chosen one isn’t chosen, the false god is false, the big deal is a flop.
Whether you agree or not, it’s gone. And I have no clue what it stood for. There’s no true foundation. If weezer went away at least you’d know what their sound was, what their idea of rock was, etc. I can’t tell you what this last person in charge of the US stood for. I couldn’t find a consistent message other than “I don’t care, do you?”
As our not as dearly as you they used to be departed Bluthes once said “you never promise crazy a baby” and it’s some of the best advice you’re ever going to get.
I know as a parent it must be mind numbing to look at a kid and realize they’re going to put their hand on a stove at some point or do something to hurt themself cause they’re too young and inexperienced to know better. What I also know after oh say 4 years is we let the kids of this country throw all of us on a stove and a bunch of them said “let’s do it again”.
But thankfully cooler heads prevailed and hopefully after a time out and dunce cap we can all come together. Maybe they get a scarlet letter like a T….
Say goodbye by the dildo store
I wrote this in a dream. Just the most fitting way for the house or cards to fall don’t you think?
You will be forgotten
While I’m sure some of the trauma, depression, anger, and fatigue of these past few years will linger for a long time I hope this is the last I ever write of this treasonous traitor and the last time I imply this losers existence.
I know this song may not ring through the halls for all eternity, but if you find it and if you had as bad a go as I did, financial hardship, overwhelming stress, the death of a parent from a pandemic not enough people took seriously, and a feeling of being shut off from the rest of the world as well as being shut out from your friends houses, then I hope you enjoy this little sing along and we bid a not so fond farewell to a truly awful figure who represented all the things I hope to never experience again in government.
Just as many of us have to go through an awful relationship or job to realize we deserve something better I hope we as a country will see that it is up to us to use our voice to make this a much better place for all of us… and not aspire to some make believe past but move towards a possible future where we actually give a shit about one another and move to elevate one another's thoughts and actions instead of just tear each other down.
Anyway, bye you stupid asshole traiter! Burn in hell and most importantly Burn in obscurity! I hope you die lonely!
released January 18, 2021
Joshua Jesty: all of the sounds and lyrics save for
Joshua Kaler: Pedal Steel on "kill all the assholes"
Thank You: 2020 for pissing off. Thank you Dodi, Jon, Cassandra, Arrow, Inle, Pye, Hazel and so many incredible friends who I would've rather had play on this record then myself... but you know... what are you gonna do during a pandemic. Thanks to to boys from Love Scream for coming together for me when I needed it and all my incredible friends who reached out during this insanely difficult year. You were there for me and I appreciate it greatly, I hope I was there for you. Never let the bastards darken your door.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laura sings like an angel wiping tears off your face. Very mellow very pretty and I just can't quit the drummer in this band no matter how hard I try.. huh? joshua jesty