Get all 60 joshua jesty releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 44, Run Screaming / Halloween Meditation, this can't happen again, Next Time, Chicken Pot Pie, Say it Twice, Finally, Joshua Jesty is Having a Nervous Breakdown, Baby, I'm a trashfire, and 52 more.
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1. |
Under the Mistletoe
02:31
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why won't you kiss me under the missletoe
for one night let the restraining order go
it's a holiday tradition
so don't give me no extradition
hang up on the cops, put down the phone
and kiss me under neath the missletoe
why won't you kiss me under the missletoe
I put up all these decorations while you weren't at home
you might call it a break in
but I just call it extreme caroling
cause I'm over here singing a song of hope
put down the bear mace and kiss my under the missletoe
I know we've had our differences
and serveral reported incidents
where you accused me of being a stalker
but I see on your social media
that you're lonely and maybe you just need a
moment to consider my missletoe offer
welp you beat me to a pulp under the missletoe
and after hours or searing pain I think I'd like to go
do you think by chance
you could call me an amublance
cause the christmas mircale I now clearly see
is I have a poor sense of personal boundaries
so before you render me a ghost
please stop kicking me under the missletoe
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2. |
Die Hard the Song
02:36
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I always feel down
when christmas comes around
if you feel like you don't belong
here's one for you
it's die hard the song
yippie kay yeah mother nature
yippie kay yeah father christmas
may this whole next year not feel like
you're in bare feet walking on glass
when terrorists plot to destroy you
and there's no seeming escape
just the cop from family matters who shot a child
that's gotta go down as the worst gift exchange
when life is exploding around you
and there's no real place to ground to
just remember the worst of the worst
fall from the highest of highs
and you'll have at least a sequel of 5
so if you feel down
when christmas comes around
and you don't feel you belong
here's one for you
it's die hard the song
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3. |
My Drunk Uncle
01:49
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will he get the hint
when he has no digits?
my drunk uncle
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4. |
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trampled to death at a big box store
holiday shopping for great deals galore
consumerism isn't something you'd abhor
so your trampled to death in a big box store
trampled to death in a big box store
reaching for that toy your kid said they'd adore
but 5 minutes later they'd have thrown it on the floor
that's why you're trampled to death in a big box store
Christ is born unto to man
but that don't sell enough to keep the rich smiling
so you're sold-a-lie that there's not enough to go around
and you must fight and put others down
but if you really believed in what jesus showed
you'd know there were enough fishes and loaves
but now your
trampled to deaht in a big box store
there were so many causes worth dying for
Marry christmas to all even those who worship wanting more
and ended up
trampled to death in a big box store
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5. |
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don't hate me
I'm double mega tier one premium subscribed
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6. |
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a lack of elves
an abundance of internet trolls
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7. |
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Hey there all you girls and boys
making all your anti christmas noise
who's that coming down the fire place?
It's Krampus come to rip off your whole face!
I know ever dollar feels like a penny
and consumerism isn't what it used to be
but if you keep saying christmas is dumb
Krampus rip your limbs off one by one
now the globe outside isn't cooling
and the threat of world war three is looming
but since there's no place to
let's go to chipotle and have a poisonous burrito
hey there all you boys and girls
your anti christmas spirit makes me wanna hurl
if your bad attitude remains persistent
Krampus gonna make trump president
no
darth vader NOOOOOOO
so don't be terrible people
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8. |
It's Christmas Time!
01:27
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It's Christmas Time
Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme
Clothes Jewels Videos Game
one of them now that's what I call music Cds
Some Therapy (a way to get out fhis capitalist hellhole known as the US)
It's Christmas Time
Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme
A Camera, A Pony a Swatch
Something that doesn't make me hate myself
and some socks
Christ is born in Bethlehem to show us Love
Whatever give me stuff
It's Christmas Time
Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme
Merry Christmas give me stuff
Now
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9. |
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Christmas won't be the same without you
all those christmas songs you loved every year
remind me that you just won't be here
all those stupid presents we barely used
don't mean anything if I can't give nothing to you
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10. |
Coal for Everyone!
03:06
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you've all been terrible people
all naughty girls and boys
to busy making a cacaphony
to bring about any joy
I'm santa and I can tell you
go and hang your stockings with care
but if you expect anything nice
don't you even dare
yeah it's coal for everyone
I'm santa and I'm watching you
not in a creepy way like creepers do
but the greed has gotten out of hand
in this past year or two
you've all been terrible people
you've all been telling lies
so when christmas mourn comes around
it should be no big surprise
that it's coal for everyone
If you want better then go do better
if you want better by god do better
I'm santa clause and I'm watching
okay that sounds creepy I admit its true
but you won't be getting anywhere
with your lackluster attitudes
you've all been terrible people
the diefication of ignorance
is actually the kind of thing
you all should really keep at a distance
Coal for everyone
If you want better then you do better
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11. |
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some people who spend 1 hour at church a week and 3 hours on garbage news media a day are likely struggling with a false god issue.
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12. |
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13. |
Nativity Scene
04:34
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every woman whose gone through the struggle of child birth wants a drum solo
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joshua jesty Cleveland
Joshua Jesty is a professional starving artist based out of Cleveland Ohio. He has been making music that people have been
getting eargasms from since 1998.
now a days he dances salsa, kicks doctors, and makes tons of pop and un-pop music.
His latest release is "...you will be forgotten". he lives with no regrets but many tacos in a physical house.
"songs about death disguised as love songs"
... more
joshua jesty recommends:
one of my favorite rock records in a long time, recorded by Steve Alibini. Hell Yeahs all around.
go to album
The Air Inside Our Lungs
by Measure
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laura sings like an angel wiping tears off your face. Very mellow very pretty and I just can't quit the drummer in this band no matter how hard I try.. huh?
go to album
Crisis Or Catharsis
by Quickening
amazing hard rock from Cleveland that is super underated.... not that I'd know anything about that.
go to albumIf you like joshua jesty, you may also like:
Other Better Places
by Fraidycat
Charming and catchy lo-fi jams from Brooklyn's Fraidy Cat.
go to album
Genuine Pleasure EP
by Genuine Leather
Effervescent pop without a drop of irony, perfectly geared for fans of the more dance-oriented side of indie music and Tears for Fears.
go to album
This Bay-Area based band offer modern indie songs with intertwining harmonies and searching refrains.
go to album
